It is NEVER your fault

On Thursday night after a late night of doing some Pride stuff with the CJSF Pride crew, I left SFU Harbour Center in Vancouver and headed out to grab the train.

I ended up stopping because I saw this amazingly talented singer busking just outside the train station. Now Buskers are all over Vancouver, but this guy? This guy had the voice of an angel. It was one of those “This is really cool to see” moments.

I called the CJSF pride crew told them to come out and for about thirty minutes we hung, had some laughs and listened to some great tunes by a phenomenal singer.

It was one of those moments you know? One of those moments that seem insignificant at the time but later when you look back you realize, that was something special.

It was also one of those moments I think, that leads up to being at the right place, at the right time.

I got on the train and realized far too late that I’d gotten on the wrong train, so not only did I have to take a second train to get where I needed to be to grab the right train, I had to take a third train to get home.

I am convinced this was a night of perfect accidents designed to put me on my final train, at the exact right time to see this jackass take a picture of a young woman up her shorts.

Now, I’m less pissed off about the fact that he had the gall to take the picture than I am about her reaction.

I wasn’t sure I had seen what I was certain I’d seen at first – until I realized no, I definitely saw him take a photo, I definitely saw the flash, and I definitely saw him try to hide it, even though I was sitting in the exact right position.

I told her what I saw expecting that she’d just step away but instead, she lost her shit (GOOD FOR HER BY THE WAY) and told him he was disgusting, I heartedly agreed.

She asked to see his phone, to prove that I was wrong, but of course no he doesn’t have to show us his phone, we’re not cops. I know what I saw, and so just before I got off the train I realized since there was no security and even if I reported it, probably little to no chance that anything could or would be done, there was something “I” could do. So I’m doing it.

I posted his photo on Twitter, and then it hit me. One of the things she said when she was realizing her privacy had been utterly violated she said to me “They aren’t even that bad…”

She was talking about her shorts, they were just above mid thigh, black covered in small flowers and just kind of whispy. She was a beautiful tall girl, and one of the first things that came to her mind was “they aren’t even that bad.”

Oh, fuck you, you disgusting shite. You made her second guess herself – you didn’t just take her photo up her shorts without her permission, you son of a bitch, you made her question her outfit.

Not because she didn’t feel cute, but instead because now she’s wondering if SHE did something wrong to invite his behavior.

I don’t know who you are, and I wish I had hugged you to make things a bit better, or gotten your number so I can remind you it’s not your fault, you did NOTHING wrong.

Sadly these kind of men are everywhere, and society today is still telling us that we, the victims are at fault.

We the victims are in fact, V I C T I M S, Of course, there were no security guards around at the train station, (there never fucking are when you need them.) and upon trying to register the complaint with BC Transit I have yet to find anyone willing to TAKE my complaint, so I decided I am going to risk it. I would rather that women do their best to avoid this man, then not say anything and risk someone else asking “did I wear the wrong outfit?”

Listen up ladies, no matter what you wear, or don’t wear. No matter how much you have to drink, it is YOUR body and you have EVERY right to do with it as YOU please.

Please, girls, do not let anyone shame you into thinking that you did something wrong. It’s not your fault, it’s theirs and it’s long past time we start making these disgusting excuses for humans pay for their crimes.

If the most we can do is post their picture online and make sure other women don’t have to deal with them, the better.

 

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3 thoughts on “It is NEVER your fault

    • I reported him to the transit police, and they are putting a “BOLO” (Be on look out) for him, so we’ll see he’ll get his karma, whatever it may be.

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