It really feels like it and I have to tell you, to see a Warrior of women’s rights, an inspiration to hundreds of men and women tell me that she is “more broken than angry” pisses me off.
I don’t actually care if you hate Muslims, I am not going to try and convince you that your irrational hatred is stupid, selfish and destructive, you already know that and clearly, you do not give a shit.
What I am going to say is that using your racist bigotry to shame a rape victim is never okay.
I’ve never had the misfortune of being rape shamed by anyone who had half a brain. The one person who did deleted his twitter account.
Several years ago Anonymous Trolls used the line “Been raped more than 20 times, but never had sex, okay” that was the comment that got the trolls to start leaving me alone. These are, by the way, some of the most despicable people on the planet, and even they knew they went too far.
I know that there are some women out there that use rape as a way to hurt men, but it’s so utterly rare it’s not even worth discussing. What is not rare however is how often Rape Victims are shamed.
Such as this comment from Jason Halfpenny, who might be the most repulsive human being I’ve come across in quite awhile.
How dare you?! Let’s break down your stupid racism here Jason, shall we?
First, you start with “From what I understand it is Muslims raping and murdering westerners”
Sweetie, I am sorry if what I am about to say is going to hurt your feelings, but you are a fucking idiot.
I’ve been raped more than twenty times, I’ve been sexually abused more than fifty times, and every person with the exception of one man was white. I have been sexually abused by a group of East Indian men, but they were not Muslims. They were just a group of drunk idiots who wanted to take advantage of a sixteen-year-old girl.
The women in my circle, in my sisterhood, have been raped and sexually abused by white men, not Muslims. Racism often almost always, actually, comes from a place of miseducation. You racist fools are merely repeating what you’ve been told without actually doing any research, so let me give you some info Jason.
This graph from RAIIN tells us what those of us who have worked with Rape Victims, and or experienced Rape and sexual abuse ourselves, tells those of us who are educated what we already know.
Seven out of every ten rapes are committed by someone we the victims already knew. Here is some more info for you Jason, now I want you to read this very, very carefully okay? Take your time, I understand you might be a bit slow.
If you look at the second graph you will see that 57% of all rapes are committed by WHITE men, not Muslims, not terrorists, not immigrants, but no, sadly members of the “Pure White Holy Perfect Can Do No Wrong Race” are more likely to rape a woman than anyone else across the board.
Now I know what you’re going to say, these statistics are faked, I am sure that someone out there is secretly trying to destroy the white man by claiming that they are worse than they are, here is the problem with that argument. Victims are not afraid anymore. We know that we have a voice, and we are working together to create positive changes in our lives, and the lives of other potential victims. We the victims are not afraid to point and say “NO, stop, this is not the man that raped me, it’s not the Muslim hiding in the corner, it’s the white man yelling at the top of his lungs.”
I am so fucking angry, what makes me angrier at you Jason is the way you said “You Claim to be raped” oh fuck you twelve times over. How dare you? How dare you try to shame a woman like that? How dare you try to shame a victim into agreeing with you? How does that make you any better than the man who used his cock to shame her?
Emotional rape can be just as damaging as physical rape and you sir, make me ill. You make me sick. You make me want to get married to a wonderful man and lock our future children away from the world so they never have to be influenced by peons such as yourself.
You are the lowest form of humanity. You think it’s not bad enough to be raped? Do you have any idea what it’s like to have someone you love and care about pin you down and steal from you the most precious gift?
Our bodies are precious, sex is precious. The very act of sexual intercourse is about two human beings connecting to create one. It’s not just about getting off, it’s not even about procreation, spiritually speaking sex is about two souls quite literally uniting to become one, to have the option of sharing that gift stolen from you, sends you down a spiral few can understand.
You have actually tried to shame a woman into agreeing with you – that’s what rapists do. They try to shame us, make us feel guilty, they abuse us with their words, fists and actions. You are no better than a rapist because you took a woman’s pain and used it against her to not only make a point, but you tried to make her agree with you. As if your hatred will somehow save us from rape. As if you being a racist will somehow make us feel better.
“Oh, don’t worry, we don’t have to be afraid anymore, the great white dope will save us with his never ending power of hatred” oh do fuck off.
I have a friend named Josh who follows me on twitter, he’s a white cop. I’m more afraid of him even though he is a friend than I am of any Muslim man.
WHITE men have taught me that you can never trust them fully. WHITE men have taught me that because I am colored – because I am black I matter less. WHITE men have taught me that my body is not my own.
MUSLIM men call me sister and ask how I am doing. MUSLIM men have asked if there is anything that they can do when I am crying. MUSLIM men have supported me when I have fallen and did not feel I had the strength to get back up. MUSLIM men have tried to protect me when I was being abused, lost alone and afraid. A MUSLIM cop saved me from a damn good beating by my step-father.
I do not become afraid when I see men of color – I see respect. When I walk down the street in my increasingly diverse town I get nods and smiles from Muslim men when I walk past a white man I watch his eyes as they scan my body and then look away as if to say “unworthy.”
When I see Muslim men as I walk down the street they nod at me – EVERY DAMNED TIME. You know when you see Black men and women nodding at each other, without saying a word? Or Muslims for that matter. Do you know what it means?
It’s an acknowledgment. When we see each other – we the people of color and give the nod it’s our way of saying “I see you, hello, I hope you are well, May the universe be kind to you.” We the people of color can say a million things with one nod than you can say with a billion words.
I cannot and will not say that every Muslim man that ever lived is the rule – I am more than certain that there are Muslim men who have or will at some point rape a woman, but it’s the exception, not the rule.
Muslim men work hard for their families. They come to countries like USA and Canada as Doctors and take jobs like taxi drivers and janitors in order to build a better future for their families.
These Muslim families, husband, and wife plus their parents and children and grand children have money because they all come together, live in 1 house and save until every member of the family has a house of their very own.
Their lives are steeped in the tradition of taking care of each other – by whatever means necessary, by taking every shit job on the planet that we’re too lazy to take. They work on farms, they clean toilettes whatever it is they have to do to create a better life for their families.
Now let’s talk about the harm your words have created for one of the kindest people on the fucking planet. Charlotte my sister, my friend, the reason that I still have the strength to write even though I want to curl up and sleep every fucking day, is my rock.
She might not know this, but she is a massive inspiration for me. Charlotte has a magazine called “Art Saves Lives“. It’s also an amazing Non-Profit organization, in which she encourages victims – men and women, to come together and create beautiful works of art as an expression of their pain/joy/love/freedom/sanity.
What have you done Jason? You tweet about how much you hate Muslims without knowing anything about them. You’re a pathetic little man and I am going to assume you probably don’t make a ton of money, you’re probably really angry about that, I wish I could say I’m sorry but I am not.
The internet allows people to say all the things they can’t say in real life, if you’re angry about your life Jason and the size of your obviously tiny…..wallet perhaps it isn’t because Muslims are taking your jobs and murdering and killing your women perhaps it’s just because the people who know you, see right through your disgusting self.
Now there will be some people out there that say shit like “Well now that’s not fair you can’t just assume he’s a broke ass with a drinking problem and a chip on his shoulder” but as far as I am concerned any compassion I might have had for you and your obvious need for attention went out the window the moment you tried to use my Sister as a weapon for your hatred.
I really hope Sir, that you do not have daughters, I really pray that the women in your life take a long look at you and quietly pack up everything they own and walk away, because of you Sir, are fucking dangerous.
Your words are dangerous and I am going to assume if you have the tiny boy balls to say that kind of shit to one of the nicest people in the world, you probably feel nothing about saying it to the women in your life.
I’ll say it again if you want to hate all Muslim men that is your right – every one of you can find a reason to hate anyone. It takes more strength, it makes you “more of a man” to shut your mouth, educate yourself and reach out in friendship to a culture you don’t understand then to blindly spread hatred.
So go ahead Jason, go after Charlotte again. I fucking dare you.
I am as per usual sending out love to all of the Victims who have been used as weapons. I am even sending love out to the Racists, in hopes that you can see past your blind hatred and instead feel the lovely wonder that is love for your fellow human beings.
Several months ago, Charlotte Farhan, Rachel Thompson and Rachel Hanson and I started what we call “The Sisterhood” on Facebook. Even though the group no longer exists, Rachel had this message for all of our beautiful Sisters.
Being visible and an advocate is great to help survivors. It also makes us vulnerable to ignorant trolls. The best we can do is not engage at all. That’s what they live for. Block from the start. Don’t take it personally. focus on our goal which is to help others. – Rachel Thompson, Co-Founder of #SexAbuseChat
If you would like to connect with us you can join us all on Twitter @CharlotteFarhan, @DevonJHall or @RachelInTheOc. We also participate in #SexAbuseChat on Tuesday evenings at 6:00 pm Pacific time and #YANAChat on Thursdays at 6:00 Pm (Except this Thursday because, you know, life.)