I have been so focused on trying to undo the damage of the past – not so that I can heal, but instead so that I can become the person I thought I was supposed to be.
Why? For what purpose? I don’t even know if the person I feel like I am supposed to be, is who I want to end up being.
I may have had more than my fair share of dreams about what I want my future to be, but that doesn’t mean that I am 100% certain.
I did something today, that is going to send me down a very dark road – it is going to be incredibly difficult, but I think in the end it will be worth it. I can’t write about it, not here, and not yet, one day when it’s over I’ll tell you guys about it, but for now, it’s enough to say that I am ready to face my past. Every dark shameful hidden secret. I am ready to face it in a way that will make it far more public than putting it here has ever done.
It’s scary – I am afraid, but I am working hard to make sure that I have a good support system in place in case I fall, I probably will stumble more than once I am sure, but I’m prepared for that.
Tonight, thankfully my mom invited me to have dinner with some of her co-workers and I took some time to smell the roses, so to speak. Below are some of the pictures I took of beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia.
Every corner is so different, and so filled with color and art and for a moment I was able to relax for the first time in days, forget what’s going on inside my head, and just…be in the moment. It was pretty fun.
So without further ado, here is my beautiful city. All of these photos were taken in the dreaded Downtown East Side, and China Town. Supposedly the “worst” parts of Vancouver. pfft.