Dear Vladimir Putin, Your genitals do not in fact, make you stronger than those who have different sexual organs. Asshat.

Screenshot_9.jpgYeah, I said it and no I do not give a fuck. This might be the stupidest thing I’ve ever read.

Let me make this clear. Women Bleed FIVE Days a month, and we fucking survive it. It’s painful, it’s annoying and it makes life incredibly uncomfortable, but we fucking manage. Do we have bad days? of course, because we’re fucking human. Does that make you stronger than us? No. It makes you our bitch.

I am beyond tired of men thinking that women are the weaker sex. We’re over it, it’s 2017 for crying out loud.

Read this closely I’ll even make the letters nice and big for you.

Women get raped, beaten, abused emotionally physically and mentally and yet somehow we survive. We give birth to children, we raise them into asshole men such as yourself, we go to work, come home, clean, cook and at the end of the day when we’re tired and want to just go to sleep many of us have to deal with the bitching and moaning of men complaining about how hard their lives are.

Yeah women by far, are not the weaker sex. We can hunt if we have to, survive in the wild and the city. Women have been putting up with men for thousands of years and how we haven’t collectively decided to murder you all, much like our Amazonian ancestors once did, is beyond me.

At the end of the day, women can do everything a man can do, and we can probably do it better. Beyond the need to procreate, we don’t actually need men on this planet. I mean really if we decided to lock you all up and only use your bodies for sex or alternatively force you to ejaculate into cups and then have ourselves inseminated then there would be little to nothing you could do about it. We outnumber you.

The very fact that women continue to allow you lesser creatures to royally fuck up our planet, our children, our entertainment and basically every area of life is a point in our favor. Because we have yet to revolt against you.

However, if you guys keep pointing out shit like “women are the weaker sex” or “I don’t have bad days because I am not a woman.” There may come a time in the not so distant future where women collectively take a deep breath say fuck it, and begin the revolt.

I’ll feel for you because let’s face we can live without you giving us an orgasm, most of you have no idea how to do it properly anyways. We can make our own sandwiches, and yes I admit some of us have an issue with the whole driving thing, but I’m pretty sure if we put our minds to it, we could slay that too. We work in Construction, in the office, out of the office. Women get more done in one hour a day than most men get in six.

When women go to work we don’t actually need a sign that announces to the men of the world “Women at Work” it’s just assumed that we’re fucking working. We work harder and we get paid less, and oh yes, every day at least twenty thousand times a day, a woman somewhere in the world finds a reason to roll her eyes at the absolute absurdity of the men she works with.

Every time a woman rolls her eyes, the collective sisterhood shudders in commiseration.

And believe me, we have plenty of reasons to roll our eyes. We, women, are responsible for bringing every single human being into this world, and should we collectively decide to arm up, we could be responsible for cleansing it of half the human population.

So Mr. Putin, Mr. I have no respect for anyone who doesn’t fit my perfect Arian ideal, I don’t know about you but if I had the unfortunate luck of being in your position, I’d keep my mouth shut about women, and who is stronger or weaker.

There is one thing we can agree on, there are certain natural cycles, it seems, however, your mother forgot the slap you upside the head cycle as a child. Because if you’d been raised in my household you’d have a hell of a lot more respect for the women that surround you, and make you who you are. You are NOTHING without the women of Russia, of the world. You’re nothing anyways. Except a pathetic sorry excuse for a man, who is insecure he has to dominate everyone around him. Do you even have any real friends? Anyone you can be honest and open with? Or is everyone just too damn afraid to stand up to you?

I thought I felt sorry for the USA for having an idiot for a leader, little did I realize how much the people of my beloved Russia — yeah you read that right, I’m a Black chick who has more respect for your countrymen and for your history than you do. You disgust me. It saddens me to know that I will never walk through the historical streets of Russia because I wouldn’t want to spend a dime supporting a government that can’t support itself, or it’s citizens.

I hope that one day a liberal kind and loving man or woman (hopefully one of color just to make you roll in your grave a little more) takes the leadership away from you. I hope that one day Russia will be free of your rule because you do not deserve the title you have “given.” I use that term loosely. Whether you would like like to admit it or not, there will be at least one woman who reads this from Russia (hai there I see you) and smiles. Nods, and says yeup.. she summed him up quite nicely.

Mr. Putin, I promise you we are not the weaker sex. You know what they say, it’s the quiet ones you should worry about…right now…women around the world are being very quiet. You should worry about the day we decide to start screaming.

Sending you and my beloved Russia all my love,

Devon J Hall

P.S. I’ll expecting the death squad. Tell them I’ll have tea and cookies waiting for them.

Asshole.

P.P.S

This is the part that I should probably say this is mostly satire.

Mostly.

Probably.

P. P. P. S

You can read the original article by John Bowden here if you really have to.

 

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5 thoughts on “Dear Vladimir Putin, Your genitals do not in fact, make you stronger than those who have different sexual organs. Asshat.

  1. Devon, I pray to all the gods and elementals of all the peoples that if I ever have the misfortune to somehow piss you off, you will be inspired to mercy. This is just wonderful.

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