In short, it’s not.
Silently to myself I always said that I would write a book about my life. It’s been one weird wild fucking ride. It’s been one long, weird, wild ride. I’ve seen a lot I’ve done a lot and I’ve been hurt a lot. So who better to write a book that inspires people to find their inner happiness than me, right?
The thing is writing a book is not easy. When it comes to how to market yourself I got that down pat. I’m not “Efamous” because I don’t market myself every ten seconds of every day.
For instance the other day I was out grabbing a cup of coffee and this woman comes up to me and says “I read your blog. I quite like it.” I smiled politely and said thank you, but then she just got weird.
“What’s going on with you and that J.D. fellow?” She asked not unkindly. JD for those of you who do not know is without a doubt one of my best friends he’s the guy I call when I’m needing a little encouragement. Our friendship has been building steadily over the last four years and he’s a damn good guy. However I don’t write about him, so I of course asked how she knew about him. “Oh well I follow you on Twitter too.” Okay that’s cool.
It’s nice to know that I have a following here in my hometown, however slight or small…it’s also fucking creepy.
It occurs to me that I have hidden very little from you guys. I tell you pretty much everything, which of course means if you see me in the street you want to come say hello. Which is cool, but it’s also a little unnerving.
It’s one thing to write here and put my thoughts and feelings into the universe, it’s another thing entirely to have those thoughts and feelings slap you in the face in real life.
Back in the day there was an understanding between bloggers and the real world. What is put on the internet stays on the internet. In today’s world however bloggers are somehow the new celebrity. (I’m by no means a celebrity). You have been invited into the very depths of someone’s heart and soul and then you see them of course you want to say hello. I get it, I’d be the same way if I met Rachel in real life I’d probably very much fan girl.
It’s a surreal experience however to have a random stranger come up and quote passages from your work to your face. I don’t know how to handle this and the more that I write the more well known I become in tiny circles of the web, and I guess, offline as well.
I’ve digressed however. I’ve been doing a lot of research into this book thing – everyone says that once you write a book, people look at you differently. Suddenly you become an expert in your “Field” you become someone that others can look up to. Invitations to speak suddenly start popping up, paid gigs by the way.
That all sounds great and everything, but if I have a hard time having blog fans how in the hell am I going to handle having book fans? I like beer or a nice glass of white wine, pizza and chilling in front of a bonfire by the lake. I’m a simple woman, who enjoys simple pleasures. I’m not one to scream for attention.
So on top of “WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO WRITE ABOUT” because I know that the day is going to come when I finally decide it’s time to write the damn book, but also “HOW DO I HANDLE ALL THIS PRESSURE I HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED YET FOR FUCK SAKES” is also rattling around in my head.
JD has written 9 chapters of his first tomb, and he only started in November. I can’t even get chapter one done.
I suppose I could go through and repackage some of my old posts, but that just seems like such a rip off for you guys. I feel like you deserve better than that. “I” deserve better than that.
And can we stop and talk about branding for a moment? I am so tired of bloggers talking about branding. I don’t have a brand. I’m Syndolly, I’m just Devon. My brand is my brain, it’s my heart and soul it doesn’t have a pretty logo, it cannot be defined in three words or less.
All of these questions will be asked at dinner tonight with my brother and his girlfriend. She will politely ask “So how’s the book going” and I’ll laugh and say “it’s not” and end up feeling like a failure because yes I have come a long way in the last year…but it just doesn’t quite feel like far enough.
So….for all those of you who were wondering, that’s how the book is going.
All my love,