The Purge

“If I want to get ahead I need to leave some people behind”

I just saw this on one of those internet tests and it hit a cord with me. Do you agree this might be true? I think it is.

Over the weekend, as I promised in my newsletter, I began the process of purging my home.

In recovery they teach you that putting too much emphasis on people places and things can destroy your life. It occurred to me that I have had far too much crap in my home. I found some beautiful memories while I was purging, like for instance my old journals – nearly all of them from ten years ago. And some wonderful books I forgot I owned, but a lot of the stuff I purged was just crap. Stuff I was holding on to.

You see the truth is that for the last ten years I’ve kept my home a mess because it gave me an excuse in order to keep people away. Even my best friend Kelly Bestie hasn’t been to my home yet. Creating that wall kept me safe from letting people get too close.

Now however my home is free of clutter and crap and I am free to begin building new memories, at long last.

Most importantly as I look around my home I think about all the people I’ve purged over the years, and I think that as much as I may miss some of them and even have fond memories of them, if I want to ascend to a higher level of self love than it’s okay to have to let them go.

Because of the purge this weekend I’ve reached this mental state of no longer fearing or being ashamed of my past. If you google my name you’ll find me all over the internet. Sometimes I get afraid of how people might react but then I realize that by using google I can look at the person I used to be, and smile because she was so broken and sad. Today however she’s become strong and happy and she’s learning to love her life. I’m proud of every mistake I ever made, and every scar I have body mind and soul, because it made me who I am today.

The purge is by no means complete and I still have a ton of work to do to get my home to where I want it to be, but for now I’m rather content with the work I’ve done. Now if you’ll excuse me, even though this post is much shorter than my usual posts it’s time to get back to work. All my love,

me

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2 thoughts on “The Purge

  1. I’ve been through some major purges, not always by conscious choice, of both stuff and people. When I moved here to help my Dad (dementia) in 2006, I had a 24 foot U-Haul (full) and a car on a trailer. When he died near the end of 2013, a long, hard purge began (I seem to have come from a long line of pack rats.) and it is still not finished. There is still the house to sell and more stuff will likely get sorted away too. And, yes, treasures were found and memories renewed. One thing is sure, when next I move it will be with a much smaller truck.

    Congrats on your purge. Enjoy the freedom.

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