Open letter to Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook Re: My 24 hour Ban

Why might you ask? Because I posted these two images on my Facebook Page to show the hypocrisy of their “Guidelines”.

I am offended by these photos for so many reasons. Let’s start with the fact that if I as a woman were to post these photos saying that I identify as a woman I would be banned. Then we’ll move into the fact that they were allowed to be posted on the profile of someone who identifies as a man but I’m not allowed to share them?

I am very careful about who I befriend. There is no one on my friendslist that is under the age of 18, I don’t even follow children on Twitter. For this exact reason. When I chat on IMVU I specifically make sure I chat in rooms where people under the age of eighteen are not allowed.

In short I spend as little time communicating with minors as possible – for many reasons, mostly because I would rather talk to an adult.

I would like to contact Facebook but I’m pretty sure breaking into the White House would be easier.

I’ve never really cared who identifies as what, labels and gender identities only matter to me when you feel the need to express who you are so that I can connect with you. Beyond that I really don’t care.

I am offended because the double standard Facebook moderators hold us users to is unfair and wrong. It’s blatant misogyny. Now I don’t know the person in the photo so I am not going to try and figure out if they really identify as a man or a woman but I can tell you the point they were making has gone largely ignored.

It occurs to me that my entire life I’ve been taught that female breasts are something to be hidden away, kept safe from the peering eyes of leering boys. The female form has been publicly shamed in soft whispers for generations.

Now there’s a part of me that wants to scream “Free the breasts and show the world you’re proud of your body” but the softer whispering voice inside my head says “but a lady keeps herself clothed for the man she’s going to marry.”

Everywhere we go whether we like it or not women’s bodies are sexualised. We spend an entire lifetime knowing that we need to protect ourselves from that mindset. We need to watch how we behave, how we walk how we talk even down to what we wear.

When an ex-boyfriend decided he no longer wanted to be an ex, he followed me to a local club that my friends and I used to spend time at. He had several girls follow me around the club trying to talk me into talking to him. Essentially he stalked me.

Several years ago a murderer escaped from prison here. Turns out the guy I was seeing at the time was a known associate. We had broken up but because I’d filed a police report against my then ex, the detectives showed up at my work to ask me about this escapee.

You see when I had filed the report against my then ex, the RCMP officer told me that I should (and I quote) “Stay home until things calm down.” Rather than receiving the help I called the police for, instead I was told to stay home locked inside my house where it was “safe”.

Time and time again women are shamed when it is men that create the problem. I’ve always said that you shouldn’t be afraid of your body, you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are as a person male or female and yet here is one of the most powerful companies in the world doing just that.

If a woman had posted that photo she’d be banned, but because someone who identifies as a man posts the photo it’s accepted – as long as no one else shares that photo. How is that even remotely not misogynistic? What i that teaching our daughters?

Mr. Facebook Zuckerberg, you said recently that you wanted your children to be raised in a better world than you grew up in. I’m not suggesting that you should allow women to spread naked photos all over your website – but I am suggesting that you tighten your guidelines and make them fair for everyone.

You can’t have one rule for one person and a separate rule for another, and you really cannot separate these rules based on gender or gender identity. It’s actually illegal. It’s in fact a human rights violation. One I could sue you for.

So which is it Facebook? This photo either violates your Terms of Service or it doesn’t. You’re either shaming women who identify as women for sharing this photo or you don’t. I’m confused.

Screenshot_13As you can see when I tried to message the Help Team rather than receiving na answer I was ignored. They closed my case without giving me a straight answer.

You either want your children to grow up in a world safe and knowing that while their bodies are special they are nothing to be ashamed of or you don’t.

Mr. Zuckerberg you will leave this world with history remembering your name forever. Your children and your children’s children will always be famous because you created a platform that in a very real world helped to connect every person on this planet together. It is with a shamed and saddened heart that I be the one to remind you that you have great power and with that comes a responsibility to protect every person who believes in you. Who believes in the idea of Facebook.

I agree that not everything needs to be put into the world for the eyes of the masses…I was trying to prove a point when I shared those photos and I did. I proved that Facebook has more empathy for men, than it does for women. That’s not fair and it’s not okay.

For a very long time as my friend Caroline can tell you I spent a great deal of time defending men and saying that equality means that men and women have equal rights in all things…but Facebook you’re proving me wrong. The actions of your moderator proves that Facebook values the rights and opinions of men and of humans who identify as men, than you do women who were born as and identify as women.

The ban is only 24 hours so I’m not going to ask you to remove it because by the time (if) you read this letter it will have already been removed. I am going to suggest that further in you take a look at your users.

The users would survive without Facebook (though we’d miss Coral Isle) but would Facebook survive without the users? No matter how much money you make Mr. Zuckerberg, the truth is without us using your platform you’re nothing.

All my love,


I’d just like to add that I have sent this letter to Mark via Facebook – I’ll let you know when (if) he decides to respond.

Edit 2: I just receivedScreenshot_16.jpg this letter from the Facebook Team. It’s pretty hard to learn about what’s accepted when apparently even Facebook can’t agree.




5 thoughts on “Open letter to Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook Re: My 24 hour Ban

  1. Let me see if I’ve got this straight (feeling a bit Twilight Zone-ish). This Sam, formerly Samantha, person was allowed to post the picture because They (He?) stated they were identifying as a man and therefore the exposed nipples were allowed despite the degree of development of the breasts, but you were not supposed to re-post it simply because you identify as a woman, even though (a) they are not your breasts, and (b) the breasts shown are presented in the original post as those of a man. Not only is this unfair, it makes no fucking sense.

    As a side note, I don’t know more than a few Trans and/or Fluid folks in the blogs I follow or in FB, but i have never yet seen any of them post a coming out picture like that, but then they were well and truly out before I ran into them. Still, it seems rather an odd way of announcing identifying as one gender by posting a photo of (presumably oneself) as so emphatically the other. Its just strange, but lacking any evidence to the contrary I’ll credit that the poster was for real and had what they thought was a good reason.

    Do keep us posted on the response, if any.

      • Now, I wonder whether the person(s)(whomever) at FB took the action on their own initiative or were responding to a complaint. It is hard to believe that an actual human looks at every post. Maybe it was tagged by their AI. The whole thing is bizarre and wrong.

      • Agreed. I quoted you on twitter by the way. I’m not letting this go. i want a damned apology. Girls shouldn’t be ashamed of their bodies and nor should they feel they have to identify as male to get the same treatment.

  2. Yes I do not undertand Facebook at all!
    I have reported porn pics..comment was!
    Penis is ok and women legs wide open are ok by facebook standards..!,,
    I suppose that person or computer program should be BLOCKED on Facebook lol 😂😂😂😂😂😘

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