Is Online BDSM Bullshit or Nah?

Years ago I remember reading an article that said that men and women actively seek out the partner they think has the best opportunity to procreate. Apparently we do it without thinking it’s sort of an instinctual thing.

What about BDSM relationships tho? Most BDSM couples come together because of common kinks as opposed to a desire to have children and extend their blood line. At least in my experience, I think that those who find a happy medium between Vanilla and BDSM end up getting married and having children and living happily ever after. Great, that’s awesome I’m happy for you but I’m not really interested in reaching you.

I am more interested in talking to the teenagers who are calling each other baby girl and Daddy.

If you’ve never heard about IMVU before I use it quite often and really enjoy my conversations with various adults. I bought the AP option very early on when I made my account because I had no interest in talking to minors. I wanted to talk to other adults about adult topics without worrying that I would accidently be talking to a minor.

When I joined Tumblr I loved it’s easy format – the ability to share beautiful photos on adult themes that I really enjoyed and felt comfortable sharing. Until I realized that both these platforms make it incredibly easy for minors to access things like BDSM chatrooms or online porn.

Granted most of the adults I know from Tumblr make it clear they do not want children looking at or following their blogs and AP is for adults on IMVU but there are not really any safe guards on any site to ensure that children are kept away from these adult topics.

I have never lied to you so I’m not going to start now. When I first got the internet at about thirteen or so I became obsessed with anything to do with sex. With a switch of a button here were chatrooms and websites that were so easily acceptable.

It didn’t occur to me at thirteen that my obsession with sex came from being overly sexualised at age nine or ten. It didn’t occur to me that my obsession came from trying to understand why I’d been abused, why he’d chosen me. All I knew was that I was young and beautiful and men all over the world wanted me. No I didn’t do porn or post naked pictures but I had plenty of conversations with men I know now were and are pedophiles. I was very naive much like many young people even today.

When I meet someone online who claims to be a “Master” today however I tend to roll my eyes and take everything he says with a grain of salt. Mostly because when we’re chatting online we’re more often than not playing a roll. We’re telling people things we wish we could say in real life, we’re pretending to be something we wish we could be more of. Not always, but sometimes.

I have noticed a lot of young men between the ages of 21-25 with their submissives, baby girls, slaves, whatever they call themselves in these chat rooms lately and I have to say I am both grossed out and appalled.

Your children are playing with bdsm, they are quite literally playing with fire. They’re sharing naked photos, choking themselves with rope, allowing themselves to be handcuffed and talking about rape and kidnap scenarios as if it’s normal. Sure for someone in her 30’s or 40’s who understands the psychological need that BDSM fills it may be normal. For a fifteen or sixteen – hell even someone in her early twenties, they do not and cannot even begin to fathom the wide open spaces that these psychological desires stem from. I know because I am only just now beginning to be able to look back at my sexuality over the years and understand what it means about me.

It would be easy to say “Blame Fifty Shades of Grey” but you can’t blame a book for kids being interested in things they have no business knowing about. Blame the fucking parents. Blame You.

My mother did everything she could – short of throwing out the computer – to protect me from online predators. Every time she changed the password I brute forced it. (Hours and hours of guess work over the years.)

It’s time for you to learn as much as you can about sexual relationships, about BDSM and talk to your children.

Someday, and someday soon a young girl is going to be tied up, with a rope around her neck, and die because her “Daddy” had no idea what he was doing and didn’t have or ignored the safe word.

I don’t know if Online BDSM relationships are bullshit or not, but I know they can be irrevocably dangerous. Especially if persued by people who don’t understand all the nuances about the lifestyle.

Talk to your kids, and just maybe it won’t be yours that ends up dead.

All my love,

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If you’d like to know more about my journey from Victim to Survivor please check out my other blog at the link below

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