I fucking hate asking for help

This year has been rough as hell. For a lot of us, but I’m not talking about the election.

I am straight up asking for your help. I’ve thought about a thousand different ways to do this. I’ve considered starting a go-fund me but in all reality the idea of asking for money without people getting something in return leaves a bad darkness in the pit of my stomach.

In the last year I’ve been on bed rest twice and am currently dealing with a chest cold that has kept me in bed for the last week or so. I’ve been in and out of the hospital so many times I’ve lost count.

Last week my doctor requested I go in to Surrey Memorial Hospital for further testing and I refused not because I don’t want help but because a) I’ve been through this before and they don’t actually do anything but offer me pills I don’t need and b) I end up having massive panic attacks that further keep me locked in bed because of the anxiety.

I haven’t worked in the last year due to health issues and the stress of not working is only compounding these issues. Do you feel sorry for me yet? I hope not but damn I feel pathetic.

Today I just about had a heart attack when I couldn’t turn my computer on. It seems that I am eventually going to need a new one and obviously I can’t afford one. I need a computer because the only sanity I have is my ability to write and post here on this blog, as many of you may know I’m also working on my first novel.

Although I could conceivably write a novel by hand most editors/agents and publishers won’t accept a hand written novel which means that finishing it may be the easy part but getting it published requires technology.

Getting a job is an easy solution that due to health issues is just totally impossible right now.

So with all that being said, I’ve designed some t-shirts with themes I’m rather passionate about. I think they’re pretty cute.

If you decide to buy a shirt you help support the blog and by extension keeping me writing. If you’re interested in helping me out you can share this post or go HERE to check out my catalogue.

I appreciate the help of any and everyone.

Love always

Devon

 

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13 thoughts on “I fucking hate asking for help

  1. Yep, this had to be hard to do. I like the shirts, but have never felt comfortable actually wearing message shirts. Still, maybe. At least I can reblog and spread the word. As for the computer, are you looking at desktop or laptop, and Windows, Apple, or Linux?

    • Hey sorry it’s taken me so long to reply. I’m looking for something simple that will help me keep writing. I appriciate your support Bob. ❤

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