So my friend Laura over at Skinny and Single wrote a post called 7 people that need to get punched in the crotch and people are absolutely livid about it. I get it. I don’t actually give a fuck, but….I get it.
When I first started reading Laura’s blog I was like “Whao lady you need to chill your tits, on ice, You’re like super seriously abrasive.” Then I met her.
She’s one of the kindest, sweetest most welcoming people I’ve had the pleasure of talking to. I’m really proud we’ve connected. In the last 24 hours she’s not only helped us create “Literary Sisterhood” but she also designed our Signature T-shirt. (Available in our shop)
So I thought I would go down the list and tell you what I think about what Laura had to say:
1. Those that call me a feminist. This makes me laugh. If I had my way, I’d let my man take care of the money while I cooked dinners, kept his children clean and happy and kept a clean house. Do you know how many bananas I throw away because I don’t have time to make banana bread? Waaaaaay too many bananas.
Fuck I actually agree with this one. I’m not a feminist. In fact I think most of you feminists are fucking bat shit crazy. (Seriously.) I wanna marry a man who’s gonna look at me and say “baby I love you. As long as I’m alive and here to take care of you all you gotta do is take care of the kids and cook my dinner. You wanna work? Go ahead and work but know that you don’t have to. I’ll pay all the bills and deal with all the boring adult stuff.” I’M DOWN. SIGN ME UP!
2. Those that misunderstand me. They think I’m a bitter, man hating asshole. I am not a man hater, I love them, I think they are cute and want to drag them off to my lair.
Many people – far too many people think I’m an abrasive bitch. Few people take the time to read my blog – hell most don’t even take the time to get to know me. So screw you. You wanna think I’m a big bad super strong bitch with no problems and no issues, and that all I do is complain or that I’m a horrible person. Go ahead. For those of you that love me? I don’t understand why. This is my issue – please don’t give me a list of why I’m such a great grande person. I know that I *am* worthy of love, I just don’t feel like it. It’s my issue to deal with and in time I will.
3. Those that tell me I’m old. Like I don’t know that already? I have a mirror, bitch, no need to be mean, I know I am old.
Even though I am 33 years old a lot of people see me as immature. I’ve been through a lot and I’m still learning how to do this adult thing. I may be “old” but in truth I feel like I’m six, because I’ve learned that your brain basically stops maturing at the age you were when abuse starts. For me that was at a very young age. My maturity levels are still catching up. Deal with it.
4. Actual feminists, yes, it’s important that you make the same money for the same job. I totally agree with that but too many times, really, a woman can’t install four 75 pound tires in the same time as a man. Seen it with my own eyes, you can’t do it honey, so shut yer hole.
There is nothing wrong with men being good at some things and women being good at other things. There is also nothing wrong with wishing, wanting or trying to achieve more, but please DO accept there are certain things you are just not physically capable of. I can’t stand people who say on one hand they can do everything and anything a man can do then on the other make excuses for not doing it because they are physically incapable. Either you are or you are not. Either is okay but you cannot have it both ways. Make up your mind.
5. People who create memes that say “1 out of 4 homeless people are women”, no one cares that the 3 out of 4 homeless people are men, f*ck men, they don’t matter.
Since I used to work with men I can’t say anything on this because I care about all homeless people. Also I’m pretty sure knowing Laura better now, she wasn’t serious. So relax.
6. Bitches that want to be in every area that men used to have for themselves. There are no “men only” gyms, not allowed just boys in boy scouts, girls have to encroach on every single thing that men had on their own. But damn, bitch, don’t allow boys in girl scouts or anything.
Ladies, you want your own time away from the men? Well hell so do they. Sometimes a guy wants to scratch his balls, burp, fart and talk about stuff in private. You don’t have to be in their face every second of the god damn fucking day. If a man did that to you you’d call him overbearing, controlling and possessive. Let the guys have some space to themselves. We have gyms, nail salons, hair salons etc. I mean seriously we’ve even taken over strip clubs for fuck sakes. I get it. Men deserve their sacred spaces too……………that being said? Sorry guys I’m not giving up strip clubs. WAY too much fun. I will totally help you build a gentleman’s club though.
7. Stupid women who want days off for their period. Really, pick one, either you are as good as a man or you aren’t. Men don’t take time off for silly nonsense as this.
Dear Laura, fuck you. I mean I love you but damnit when MY period hits it’s so painful I can barely move let alone get out of bed, so I’m going to have to rank on this one. Also men whine about hang nails so whatever. (love you tho)
I am not a Feminist. I am a person who believes that half of the entire human population sucks and needs a reboot. I also believe that men and women can get along if we start recognizing that we all have different strengths that can compliment each other, rather than detract from each other. Women give birth, Men move steel beams.
Someone said that Laura was a “Another Woman who hates men” she doesn’t hate men. Nor does she hate at all. She’s one of the kindest warmest easiest people to talk to. I’ve told her some things in the last twenty four hours that I haven’t even told my real life best friend. I couldn’t be friends with someone who hates men. Nor will I stand by and allow her to be insulted because you disagree with her opinions, which by the way everyone is entitled to.
You have every right to choose not to read her blog but you do not have the right to accuse her of something that isn’t true. That’s kind of how this cool Sisterhood thing works. We take care of each other, we stand up for each other and we step up to take the time to get to know each other as women and as writers.
Imagine that. People who have different views on the same topics and can still be friends.
All my love Laura, thank you for being my sister,